Last night, I had a dream.
A little boy, in his baseball uniform appeared and my heart just melted. He was about 5 or 6 years old. Yes, it was Brett. He came up and jump up into my lap. Being a mom, the first thing that I did was smell him and wrap my arms around him. I don’t think he said a word.
I remember when he died, I grabbed a t-shirt from his dirty laundry. Slept with it for days and finally put it into my pillow case. I was devastated when it accidently got washed. I don’t think that it still smelled like him, but it really did not matter. I hate to admit that I cannot remember his smell anymore. It was a combination of him and his deodorant. Yes, his deodorant is still in my dresser drawer. It’s just not the same smell anymore, but I would never get rid of it.
Just like Brett, he had to jump off my lap and head into another direction.
As I share this, once again the reality of his life and how our lives changed becomes overwhelming. What is very interesting is that his passion for relationships and helping others has evolved and proves that goodness and belief are paramount.
Today, I am so very blessed. Brett does not show up very often. Just a few times so far. But the work that he does makes me one proud mom.